Is It Enough?

For the past month, I have been reading, writing, and reflecting on what we – more selfishly, I – can do about the increasing crises and tensions in America. I posed this question in my May 8th blog titled, “How Do We Act In This American Crisis?“:

What am I already doing naturally, on a daily basis, that I can strengthen with greater focus, passion, and energy to be effective on a larger scale? How can I put that into action that wouldn’t be so short-lived?

In my pursuit of answering this question, I have talked with politicians, and I have read books on various aspects of American History, taking action to effect change, and essays and works of fiction that have brought to a sobering surface the struggles we face and their origins.

In reading these works and listening to these voices, I am mindful of how deep-rooted our problems are, much like the bamboo that has established itself in our back yard. The origins of the invasive plant run deep into the soil, as do the origins of our tensions in America. Cutting the bamboo at the surface is an impressive visual to make us feel like we have addressed the problem, but the truth is, it’s not really gone, and it’s going to grow back again while we placate ourselves with other, more trivial matters.

The problems we have run deep, well below the surface of any one generation. And as the late, great John Lewis reminds us in his book, Across That Bridge,

…ours is not the struggle of one day, one week, or one year. Ours is not the struggle of one judicial appointment or presidential term. Ours is the struggle of a lifetime, or maybe even many lifetimes, and each one of us in every generation must do our part. And if we believe in the change we seek, then it is easy to commit to doing all we can, because the responsibility is ours alone to build a better society and a more peaceful world.

John Lewis. Across That Bridge: A Vision for Change and the Future of America

Then I took a deeper look into my own work in and out of the classroom and asked myself,

Is it enough?

Before I answer that question, I want to share the process I used in my deep dive, as I believe that is relevant to my answer.

Instead of trying to narrow my focus, I did the complete opposite. In one of the classes I teach at Towson University, I have my students write what is called an I-Search Paper, which is the opposite of the traditional research paper nearly all of us have written at some point in our schooling years. The I-Search Paper, instead of stating a thesis of what you believe to be true, is driven by a burning question on some topic that is at the core of your passion. This elusive answer has driven you crazy for years, and you are determined to go well beyond the reaches of the internet to seek out its answer.

This is how I approached my own burning question, stated above. I decided to take a stream-of-consciousness approach, allowing my journey to lead me wherever it wished to take me.

I was not disappointed.

To begin with, I deleted my social media apps from my phone and checked Facebook just once or twice on my laptop. That break from social media opened the door for me to be more focused in allowing my readings and discussions to lead me in new places.

Next, I journaled every day, following Julia Cameron’s mandate in The Artist’s Way to write three pages without inhibition. As I usually journal on a daily basis anyway, I decided to use this process of “Morning Pages” as a more focused introspection on the role I have (and have not) played in making my community and America as a whole a better place for all. In these entries, I did not censor or stop myself from being overly critical of my own (in)actions. In taking this approach, I allowed myself to explore new ideas, possibilities, and sometimes impossibilities.

I also decided to go to the origins of some of our issues, and to do that, I had to immerse myself into learning and re-learning American History, all the way back to the 16th century, then ultimately with a focus on 1750-1900 (I’m still immersed in this study, learning every angle and listening to every voice that I can about where we’ve been, and how we got here.

Like I mentioned above, I talked with politicians, students, and friends about the roles they play, how much they care about the issues of social justice and crime, even how much they do and do not know about these topics.

Finally, I allowed myself to explore other areas that were once seemingly unrelated, but now I know they are deeply intertwined in our contemporary crises: these include the environment, climate matters, our local, state, and national waterways, and even the geological impact that we have made in our regional and national neighborhoods.

I am now reading The Chesapeake Watershed: A Sense of Place and a Call to Action by local writer and naturalist Ned Tillman. Mr. Tillman does an outstanding job of weaving a good story with science, history, and ways in which we can make a difference today and in the long-term.

It struck me a few days ago that Mr. Tillman’s efforts are no different than those of our other leaders who have shared their stories in their calls to action. I applaud him for devoting his life to publishing his thoughts and speaking about them both locally and nationally.

That’s when I revisited the question: Is what I am doing enough?

I’m pretty sure if I asked Ned Tillman that question about his own work, he’d say No, for the same reason I say No about my own efforts.

Every day, I have the opportunity to effect change in my classroom. I also have the opportunity to use my writing to make a bigger difference in this world. In both areas, there is great room for growth. I could never be a politician, simply because I am not cut out to do anywhere near the masterful work of John Lewis in devoting his life to effecting change in such a bureaucratic manner. He was an angel of patience, even in the process of getting into “good trouble.”

Likewise, Ned Tillman’s work is such an incredible contribution to the education of a society that is being constantly tempted to skim for facts in small, bite-sized segments. I applaud his devotion and passion for geology and the natural world.

But that, as well, is not an area where I can devote my full energies. I am just interested in too many things to narrow my focus like that.

Thus, my lifelong conundrum: I am a jack of many trades, but a master of none.

My strengths lie in three areas: education, writing, and empathy for others. Is it not enough to be doing all that I am in the classroom, with my pen, and with my heart, mind, and ears?

This past spring semester, I created some deeper space in my classrooms to be a better listener, to modify my instruction accordingly, and advocate more openly for marginalized populations.

But it wasn’t enough.

This past spring semester, I recommitted myself to my writing practice and started posting on my blog again.

But it isn’t enough.

This past spring semester, I immersed myself into American History, literature, the environment, Chesapeake Bay Studies, and social justice.

It is not enough.

If I’ve learned anything in this past month, from the teachings of John Lewis to the storytelling and calls to action from Ned Tillman, from my own journaling, research, and conversations, it’s that it is never enough. I have forsaken so many opportunities to write, preach, read, and listen more. I may not be a politician or a geologist, but I am an educator, a writer, and an empath, and I cannot allow opportunities to pass my by in doing a better job in merging those three skills into action.

A month’s time in focusing on all of this is just the beginning. But taking this time to explore these truths has helped re-rail me on to the tracks of making a difference, of contributing knowledge, awareness, and solutions to my own community, no matter how small or large that might be. We can never be satisfied or complacent with our efforts. Mr. Tillman wrote The Chesapeake Watershed in 2009; Mr. Lewis wrote his book in 2012. Neither book crossed my path until this Spring. Much awaits us in all that we can learn by remaining focused, clearing our distractions, and immersing time and energy into the matters that mean the most to us, and to our society.