40 Days: 030810-D20.0

Good morning. It is 5:24 a.m.

Halfway point is here. But does that even mean anything anymore?

When I started this journey 20 days ago, it was all about getting to day 40. In fact, I’ve been asked recently by several people about how challenging it might be to hold on for the final 20 days. Now that I’ve reached this point, though, the question that is evolving is, will I ever go back to the way things were? Will I resume eating unhealthily, and will I be glued to Facebook 24/7?

It is seeming increasingly unlikely that I will return willingly to any of those old habits. The further I move away from them, the clearer it seems to me that I have turned a corner in my life. This was the entire purpose of the journey — to still the waters and refocus, to ask the tough questions about the things that have held me back in the past, and to confront my spirituality head-on.

So where am I at this once-defined halfway point?

I understand how strong fear is, and how it has driven most of my decisions in my life.

I also understand love is stronger.

I understand how strong and injurious the inner critic can be.

I also understand how stronger forgiveness is.

I understand I can’t do anything about the past but let it go.

I also understand that all things are possible through Him who strengthens me.

I understand that self-punishment is never healthy, nor helpful.

I also understand that self-love allows me to love others more healthily.

I want to thank all of you for your wonderful comments, both public and private, about this weekend’s posts. I am grateful for your support, kind words, and advice. You have helped me stay strong through this stage as I ask the tough questions about where my energies will flow. This weekend, I put my creative cards on the table. In my mind and in my heart, they are all aces. To give any one of them up would be to give away a gift from God. I will continue to work through this in the coming days, and for as long as it takes.

Again, though, your help along the way is an absolute blessing. Thank you.

On to a good Monday. I hope each of you awakes with the vision of a brand new day in all its glory. . . .